Tale of Life

TO ALL THE DRUNK WOMEN: 19 CLUES TO CALLING IT A NIGHT YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN . . . 1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are. 2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in theladies room. 3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass. 4. In your last trip to "pee" you realize you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just …

…You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza. 15. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..." 16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it. 17. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves. 18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!). 19. You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want