Thoughts of Suicide

Everything had to be perfect. It took me over ten minutes just to pick out the damn razor blade. I walked to the hallway closet and took out the package of blades. It was so hard to select which one was honorable enough to perform the deed which seemed inevitable at the time. The razor I chose was rusted and dirty. It had obviously been through a lot of shit, like me. I too had …

…Although I was alive for 16 years of my life, this is the first time I actually feel as though I am living, but I am dead. Is it really considered suicide when your are taking away a life that was never really being lived? I approach the gates for judgment and begin thinking about how everyone says that your whole life flashes before your eyes before you die. What would you say flashed before mine?