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Letter "S" » Steven Wright
"Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick."
Author: Steven Wright
About: Balloons
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
Author: Steven Wright
About: Cats
"Black holes are where God divided by zero."
Author: Steven Wright
About: Comedians
"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."
Author: Steven Wright
About: Curiosity
"Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their familiescame and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said,
So. What did you think?."
Author: Steven Wright
About: Death Immortality
"Consciousness: That annoying time between naps"
Author: Steven Wright
About: Naps
"I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes."
Author: Steven Wright
About: Waiting
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
Author: Steven Wright
About: Walking
"If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?"
Author: Steven Wright
About: Words
"I xeroxed my watch. Now I can give away free watches."
Author: Steven Wright
About: Xerox
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