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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

«POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When we wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.»
«POLYGAMY, n. A house of atonement, or expiatory chapel, fitted with several stools of repentance, as distinguished from monogamy, which has but one.»
«PLEBISCITE, n. A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.»
«PLENIPOTENTIARY, adj. Having full power. A Minister Plenipotentiary is a diplomatist possessing absolute authority on condition that he never exert it.»
«PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction --prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives.»
«PLAUDITS, n. Coins with which the populace pays those who tickle and devour it.»
«PLEASE, v. To lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition.»
«PLEASURE, n. The least hateful form of dejection.»
«QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another --usually about as many times as it can be got there.»
«RACK, n. An argumentative implement formerly much used in persuading devotees of a false faith to embrace the living truth. As a call to the unconverted the rack never had any particular efficacy, and is now held in light popular esteem.»

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