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Rita Rudner Quotes

«I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.»
«The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.»
«My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.»
Author: Rita Rudner (Comedian, Writer) | Keywords: fake, requested
«I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.»
«My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.»
«My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.»
Author: Rita Rudner (Comedian, Writer) | About: Marriage, Relationships | Keywords: get married
«I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.»
«I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.»
«My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.»
«My mother buried three husbands ? and two of them were only napping.»
Author: Rita Rudner (Comedian, Writer) | Keywords: napping

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