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Roseanne Barr Quotes

«My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.»
«Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?DO NOT USE»
Author: Roseanne Barr (Host) | Keywords: experts, festive, Good Time
«I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life.»
Author: Roseanne Barr (Host) | About: Hate | Keywords: Adolf, Adolf Hitler, Hitler, past life
«I call myself a 'domestic goddess»
«My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.»
«Excuse the mess but we live here.»
Author: Roseanne Barr (Host)
«As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.»
Author: Roseanne Barr (Host) | Keywords: housewife
«They're all mine. . . . Of course, I'd trade any one of them for a dishwasher.»
Author: Roseanne Barr (Host)
«I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people...that's why I don't like any of them.»
Author: Roseanne Barr (Host)

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