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asshole

«You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I'll show you a pennant. I'll show you the New York Yankees.»
«Jesse Helms and Newt Gingrich were shaking hands congratulating themselves on the introduction of an anti-gay bill in Congress. If it passes, they won't be able to shake hands, because it will then be illegal for a prick to touch an asshole.»
«In life there are no winners, only assholes with Swiss Bank Accounts.»
«Being drunk is a good disguise. I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me.»
«Love is bullshit. Emotion is bullshit. I am a rock. A jerk. I'm an uncaring asshole and proud of it.»
«Samantha: Like it?s my fault! I shouldn't be punished for not having kids. I should be rewarded! Since when did kids become the Get Out of Cancer Free card? He's basically saying that I'm a whore who deserves chemo!!Carrie: No, I...I don't think that's what he was saying.Miranda: What I don't understand is.. if they got it all, why do you need chemo?Samantha: Because he's an asshole. Carrie: Evidently there could be something microscopic.Samantha: Like his dick. Carrie: Excuse me, do you have cancer or Turrets?»