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urine

«Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine»
Author: David Moulton | Keywords: beer, served, urine
«What is man, when you come to think upon him, but a minutely set, ingenious machine for turning, with infinite artfulness, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?»
«The United States has been declared under martial law...All constitutional rights have been suspended. Anyone interfering with the collection of urine samples will be shot. Anyone failing to attend morning school prayer will be shot. The number one enemy of progress is questions. National security is more important than individual rights. Sports broadcasts will proceed as scheduled. Shut up, be happy, obey all orders without question. At last everything is done for you.»
«There seems to be no stopping drug frenzy once it takes hold of a nation. What starts with an innocuous HUGS, NOT DRUGS bumper sticker soon leads to wild talk of shooting dealers and making urine tests a condition for employment -- anywhere.»
«?The whitest white dipped in clinging dirt. Another summer has thrown its corpse on my floor. The streets have given birth to even more strangers. Rivers of urine stripe the sidewalks. It rained the other day and the only thing that occurred to me was it would wash the smell away for a few days. Tonight is the first hot night. Outside my window, the human noise factor is intense. It?s past midnight. They talk too much. They scream liquor-fueled idiot chatter. I pull away and close the door. I think about how it?s all going to play out. How much time people spend trying to get across to each other, trying to clear their names. Trying to overturn the charges brought against them. I have decided to tell them that it?s all true and not seek a fair trial. It?s the only way to be free. Stop trying to matter. I could get my body tattooed with air-colored ink and walk invisibly amongst them. I have heard people say that they felt closer to their parents after they have died. Maybe if I treat people as if they were dead, I could get along with them better. I want to be able to like living people somehow. As it is now, they?re I best coming through speakers or trapped between book covers. Here I go into the heat. Four months as a human anvil.?»
«I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | About: Drinking | Keywords: olive, sample, samples, urine
«Some men there are love not a gaping pig, some that are mad if they behold a cat, and others when the bagpipe sings I the nose cannot contain their urine.»