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Dennis Miller Quotes

«You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R»
«There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.»
«I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.»
«Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?»
«Sure, the lion is king of the junglebut airdrop him into Antarctica,& he's just a penguin's bitch»
«A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.»
«And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.»
«Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.»
«After seven years of marriage, I'm sure of two things -- first, never wallpaper together, and second, you'll need two bathrooms.. both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.»
«I rant, therefore I am.»
Author: Dennis Miller (Actor, Comedian) | Keywords: rant, ranting

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