A Modest Proposal to Prevent the Use of Marijuana by Americans under the Age of Eighteen

As is well known, one of the most widely used illegal drugs in America is Marijuana. 70 million Americans over the age of 12 have used this horrible drug. More importantly, half of all youth under the age of 18 have smoked marijuana. Aside from the fact that smoking "the reefer" probably won't cause painful (or painless, for that matter) death to its users, it is a likely cause of a few high school dropouts, some thefts, mild …

…forced to smoke half of a pack of cigarettes everyday. They must smoke tobacco on "pain of death". Since marijuana is so dangerous and returning to pot use after a short time of abstinence is common, it is a serious offense for a youth not to take required "drags" of our cigarettes. I will conclude by ensuring all that this modest proposal will prevent the use of marijuana by Americans under the age of eighteen.