Paper on breaking up

We need to talk and I mean seriously this time. So, listen carefully. This addiction of yours going to the Adult Toy Store is starting to become a big problem with our relationship. I saw so many receipts in your wallet from that nasty joint for things that I have never seen or even heard of. You are the most frugal person that I have ever met. Maybe that's because you spend all of your …

…male locker room right after the big game of which you blew the winning goal. Your new hairdo looks like that of a mini-mullet. You know what? You can have that dirty Filipino trash because Nick Carter has already called me to go on a date with him. I bet he won't have any problem picking up the tab at dinner or with providing me with whatever I need for the rest of my life.