Thoughts of a wounded soldier

You would think it a simple operation but with so many people in worse condition than you; all you can do is sit and wait and wait and wait. This place is so bland, the only vibrant color being the red ruby spots on the bed linen. How those sheets terrify me... They change the sheets periodically, every two days I think. They bring back the originally dirty linen, crisped, starched and bright white. Renewal, …

…he didn't die but is it worse to live like this than live at all? I wonder if I scream in the night. Visions have come to me in the night, ones so frightening that I cannot describe them. I should have been left to die, a slow painful death. I deserve it. I would have preferred it. My conscience will never be clear again in life, but in death at least it is honorable.