Time and Time Again!

Over the years, I've watched him grow. Through the baby stages to death. I've seen the struggles, the joy, the despair. It was all clear. He never gave a thought, that he wasn't alone in his room. He was never alone, I was there. I was there in the walls, the dirty carpet he refused to clean, in the posters, the holes, in that stinky boy smell he emitted as a teen. I was there …

…the gun. I was the one who hid the ammunition within my walls. I was there to cool the room so frigid, he could barely manipulate that gun. I was there. I am here. I am here, watching as he pulls the feeding tube and IV's from himself. I let him die this time. There's nothing I can do, except be there. "Thank you" he calls out on his last breaths, "I know you're there".